The Darkness is Breaking

Yesterday, a group of us girls stayed behind to go shopping with Ewelina, a staff member from Poland. We wanted to put on a party for the kids at Crosspoint. We had so much fun just driving around and going to different banks and the grocery store. We were in one of the banks and Ewelina kept sticking her head through the narrow window at the teller’s desk. And I said it would be funny if she got her head stuck, and one of the girls came up with a headline: “Polish girl gets her head stuck in a window at an Irish bank with four Americans!” So that has become a joke between the five of us. We are very blessed to have her. She is hilarious and makes all of us laugh. She really brightens our day.

I have been on missions trips before and this has by far been the hardest one that I have ever been on. I came here expecting to just work with the kids and play some games with them and then at night we would be with the teenagers. I never expected these kids to be so distant and tough. These kids break my heart. These kids are not homeless. But the things going on in their life is horrible. They remind me of American kids except they are ten times harder to reach. Hannah, one of the staff members who goes to Crosspoint with us, gave us a list of all the kids there with a slight description about their life. When I went into the prayer room on Tuesday and read this, my heart broke for these kids. There is one boy who reminds me of my younger brother. I know what my calling is and I always thought I had it figured out as to what I was going to do after college, but as usual, God surprised me and changed my plans a bit. I know that this will not be the last time that I am in Ireland. Whether I come back to Northern Ireland or just go to Ireland, I know I’ll be back.

I read Rob Bell’s Sex God and I have gotten so much out of it. There is a part that talks about heartbreak and it really made me realize something. Bell asks why heartbreak is so universal and then he answers with “It’s universal because we’re feeling something as old as the world. Something God feels.” I am feeling what God feels for us and these kids every moment of every day. And I have to tell you, it hurts. There is another part in this book that talks about how everyone is worth dying for. And during my quiet times I have been asking God for guidance with these kids. And all He said was one word. Love. These kids are worth dying for and we just need to love them with every ounce that we have.

“Circumstances do not alter God’s sovereignty."

-Kari Lally